It’s Okay To Say The Truth.
Why we always have to pretend that we’re okay while we are not okay. Now here’s the things which hurt a lot.
When someone insult you not knowing how hurt you are, and after making fun of you they’ll say it’s just a joke don’t take it seriously. Why we don’t take it seriously huh???? you make fun of me in front of everyone and at last saying that its just a joke don’t take it seriously.
Hi! The story I’m going to tell you now is a real story and it hurts me a lot whenever I think of it, So I decided to share it with you.
So, I was so skinny since childhood the one and only wish I had at that time was long hair. Whenever I ask to my mom that I don’t want to cut my hair , she always says that you’re so skinny long hair won’t suit you. It was 2014 and I was 7 years old at that time .Time passes like that everyone insults me and call me by names, I also have hormonal problems since childhood and I had hair all over my body so my sisters and my family members call me ‘Gorilla’. Normal girls have their periods at the age of 12,13 ,10 or sometimes 16 ,but I got my first periods at the age of 9 I got scolded by my mom that I’m becoming an aunty day by day I’ve big boobs which made me look like an aunty no one likes me. My mom always scold me that I smell bad, she don’t let me sleep with her. I always top in my school, I always think that if I’ll top my parents will be happy and give me a lot of presents but it was just a dream instead they celebrate my twin’s birthday and even she just pass in class and they always said that she’s better than me.
In 2019, I don’t know what happened to me I was becoming fat day by day at last I ended up being fat as a balloon, At first I was happy that now no one call me by names but it was just my thought my imagination they started calling me with worst names ever. Now I start getting scolded by my mom again she said that now I look like a mother of 3 kids but I was only 13. As I told you my mom never allowed me to have long hair because I was skinny so I thought that now I am fat she must allow me to have long hair but she said ‘You already look like a mother of 3 kids, so if you have long hair you will look so bad because you’re so fat, stop eating much because no one like you’
At this point I was totally broke like what the hell first I was skinny so no one liked me now I am fat so everyone still hate me. I regret really hard because I always hate my self from this incident I learned that we never have to hate our selves just love the way we are, or if you have a dream like I had of long hairs don’t care about what people will think just love yourself because people will hate you no matter how hard you try to make space in their hearts.
Okay so I’ve a twin everyone loves her a lot because she’s really cute and childish. She looks like a baby not like me who looks like an aunty. I had a bestfriend she was so nice to me we always play different games in recess. But because I was fat so I stopped running because everyone laugh at me. So one day my bestfriend came to me and said: ‘You are no fun, your sister is so much better than you and she always play with me not like you whose always just sitting like a statue. Don’t ever dare to come to me I feel shamed being walk with you around the school people make fun of me that my bestfriend is a pig’ After saying that she leave me all alone I felt so broke inside my teachers, friends, parents everyone makes fun of me. I cried every night only my pillow knows how much hurt I am. So I started ignoring what they said and start loving myself because I know if I’ll become skinny again they’ll still make fun of me. But I still don’t love myself that much because I can’t run can’t shop can’t eat what I love. I stopped going outside because people stared at me with a weird look, I ended up being isolate. and nothing changed I did a lot of exercises , diets but no results. I felt so disappointed that I wanna kill myself.
And at last I directly went to my mother and said all the things she says to me that how much hurt I am that she never celebrated my birthday she always make fun of me never appreciate that I always top I never get any present .and she said that Birthday is not important to celebrate or if you top every year I appreciate it but there’s nothing to celebrate or we gave you gifts and about your fatness so its the truth and there’s nothing wrong if we made fun of you because you look so funny FATTY. I looked at my dad hoping he would say something but he was just controlling his laughter because my mom called me fatty and now my sisters are screaming FATTY FATTY FATTY…
JUST LOVE YOURSELF NO MATTER WHAT.
So I say the truth and nothing changed just the heaviness of my heart was gone. And now I am cold hearted I never show any emotion and I’m emotionless now and they also have a problem with that and said that I have to change my self. And I’ve to stop being COLD HEARTED.
